What About Me?
by dream-eater-is-hungry
Summary: After the Kyoto incident, Tsuzuki decided to move on and leave the bitter memories behind. But with each decision comes consequences. And it was Hisoka who suffered the most from his choice. ONE-SHOT Shounen-Ai


**Summary:** After the Kyoto incident, Tsuzuki has decided to move on and leave the bitter memories behind. But with every decision comes a consequence. And it was Hisoka who suffered the most from his choice. ONE- SHOT

**Disclamie:** If I was that rich, I would've owned them by now... but I can't be considered rich... yet... lol

**Warnings:** Shounen-ai, angst

**A/N:** I came up with this while listening to Britney's "From the Bottom of My Broken Heart" which I included in the fic as I think blended along nicely. I think I listened to the song 7 times while writing this.

* * *

**What about me?**

By: dream-eater-is-hungry

Hisoka's POV

I pressed my forehead against the hotel window, gazing at each raindrop that would fall and slide down the glass. It was a typical Monday morning. But who could call it typical. It would never be the same. Never. The constant whining that used to ring in Meifuu's dark hallways is no more. He is no more.

_"Never look back," we said _

_How was I to know I'd miss you so? _

_Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind _

_Where do I go?"_

After that incident in Kyoto, he had left, this time, for good. As my mind wandered back, I just realized how helpless I must've looked. I was crying, begging him not to leave, but he had already made up his mind. No, he said, I cannot stay here anymore... there are too much painful memories.

_And you didn't hear_

_All my joy through my tears _

_All my hopes through my fears _

_Did you know, I still miss you somehow_

I raised my hand, lightly tracing the intricate contours of the water on the glass. How could you leave me? What about our partnership, Tsuzuki? Did everything we went through together, mean nothing to you? Was it all just another partnership to you, just like every other partnership you've had? Did I mean nothing to you at all?

_From the bottom of my broken heart _

_There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know _

_You were my first love, you were my true love _

_From the first kisses to the very last rose_

At that last thought, I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I couldn't bear the thought that I was nothing to him when he was everything to me. He was my only family. He brought me joy, he protected me when my own family, who was given that duty, scorned me.

Before you came along. I never believed in trust, hope or love because half my lifetime was filled with desolation and despair. I learned never to open my heart to anyone, for when I do, betrayal will follow. Trust was something meaningless to me. But after I met you, you taught me that trust isn't always betrayed; that there are some people who are worth trusting in this world.

_From the bottom of my broken heart _

_Even though time may find me somebody new _

_You were my real love, _

_I never knew love_

_'Til there was you _

_From the bottom of my broken heart_

After I return from this mission with the Gushoshin, I know Tatsumi would've found me a new partner by then. He knew how painful it would be for me. He knew perfectly well that I didn't want a new partner... that I wanted Tsuzuki. But he's gone now. He has moved on. I know I should too but I wish... I wish that he just didn't leave in the first place.

_You promised yourself _

_But to somebody else _

_And you made it so perfectly clear _

_Still I wish you were here_

I wish that he were still here. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine him, coming up to me, lightly brushing the bangs off my face, asking me what's wrong. Imagine, yes, that's the only way he'd still be here with me, only in my imagination.

My heart ached at his memory. The empty void I've felt when I was alive has returned once more. He has gone, and never to return again. And with your leave, you have freed yourself from your demons in Kyoto. But what about me, Tsuzuki? What about me?

_"Never look back," we said _

_How was I to know I'd miss you so?_

-end.

* * *

**A/N:** There will be no sequel or follow-up fic for this, as I seem to suck at writing sequels. 


End file.
